Drinking Jokes

An example of what my grandfather tells us when he’s on his meds:

Three men walk into a bar. One Scottish man, one Brittish man, and one Irish man. They sit them selves down and order three big beers to celebrate. The beers are delivered and out of nowhere three flys float over and land in their drinks.

The English man declares his disgusting and leaves without taking a sip, muttering about hygene as he goes.

The Scottish man shrugs, downs his beer in one gulp and leaves contentedly.

The Irish man jumps up on the counter, grabs the fly by the wings and shouts, “Spit it out! Spit it out you little theif!”

Another example:

A man walks into a bar and looks around. He sees two men talking animatedly in a booth.

The first says, “I was born in Dublin, so I’m Irish through and through.”

The second replies, “I was born in Dublin too! I went to Saint Mary’s Catholic School, don’t tell me we went to the same?”

“Ah we did, we did! I was in Sister Margaret’s class, which were you in?”

“I was in Sister Margaret’s as well!” And as they go they discover more similarities, each time getting more and more excited.

The man at the bar taps the bartender on the shoulder. “What’s going on over there?”

He shrugs, “Oh don’t mind them, that’s just the McClay twins. They get hopelessly drunk every Saturday.”

Funny thing is, PopPop’s like completely Irish.